Geez. You go into the psych NP's office because you are depressed as hell after having a baby. You figure that some SSRI and some therapy will make you all better. You have always had mood swings, but some really sucky crap has happened to you in life, so you have always assumed the sucky things caused the depression issues. You've never lost touch with reality- you have two college degrees, do well at your job, never spent too much money, everyone has always told you that you are really super competent in life and they wish they were like you. Your spouse loves you and the relationship is great. You have never gotten professional help before.

You take the Zoloft. Great stuff. After a month the depression is gone, and you feel like your old self (only the sex drive goes bye bye). After 8 weeks you start getting more and more hyper, you pace all the time, you do 8 loads of laundry, all the dishes, vacuum the house, and wash the car in one day. You catch yourself wanting to shop all the time (but you stop yourself). Your sex drive is back, and stronger than it ever was before (hubby loves that). You wake up after three hours of sleep crying that you hate yourself and you should just die already. BUT you really don't want to die- you just feel like crap. You can't sleep after that. You are constantly in motion. You freak out over stupid crap.

Your postpartum mood disorder support group says you should tell the NP about this stuff. You don't want to, but you need to.

Great. Now I am bipolar, with a case of PTSD stemming from an attempted rape 12 years ago. Go in depressed, come out batshit crazy. Hypomania sucks so much.

Now what do I do?