((( My Dear Friend )))

I know it's hard. I really do. I feel for you.

I honestly don't think your parents are really yelling at each other. I think they're just yelling. Maybe they're mad that life has turned out this way for them and underneath all the fighting and hate, they are yelling about the injustice of the crappy hand they were dealt. (Just my opinion, of course)

It seems selfish of them to act this way right now, I know. I was pretty pissed at my mother for pushing herself so much when she was sick. She was in such denial and having a really hard time just walking to the bathroom or to bed, yet she wanted to go out to eat and go see her friends and go shopping etc. (I had them over instead) I guess she just wanted to live.

I was coming from a serious, caring, "I'm concerned for your life and want you to rest and get better" place so that she MIGHT live a little longer. She was coming from a "I want to pretend I'm not dying and laugh and make jokes" place. It made me mad that she would "make a joke" about all of it.

I wish I saw all that at the time. I realize now I shouldn't have tried to save her. I should've just let her go out the way she wanted.

Please lean on us. You mean a lot to me kebs.

I'll do whatever I can.