I am at a loss. My son is 12 and has a pattern of blaming his coaches and teachers when things don't go perfectly. He's not a deliquent -- quite the contrary -- he's a perfectionist! He studies hard and is upset if he doesn't get an A but will come home if the test is hard and say "that dumb teacher gave stupid questions so I did poorly". Twice now he has gotten kicked off/dropped from sports teams in town because he was "mouthing off" to the coach or another child you didn't play as well as he thought he should -- and told him so.
This behavior has been going on for years. We tried therapy and he didn't listen to the therapist at all. The principals have spoken to him. I have spoken to him. It's like he doesn't internalize the problem. He hears it; he knows it exists. But he does NOTHING with the information -- he makes no attempt to change his behavarior. As long as things are going the way he likes he's as happy and charming and delightful as anyone you have ever met. But once something doesn't go well all hell breaks loose.
Yes, his dad is a pychopath. His dad left us about 4 years ago after an affair and a baby with the woman. He is a well known physician so I can't get into more details but it was crippling for me. I tried very hard to rise above it for the kids. I started my own business and send them off to school everyday and am here for them 100%. But their dad completely undermines all the effort I make when he sees them. He doesn't mean to and he's not always terrible but sometimes he does reinforce what my son thinks and that is very destructive.

I don't know what to do. Regular therapy didn't work. This morning I told him he was about to kicked off the tennis team because he yelled at the boy he was partnered with for not getting a few shots. And he got angry with me for "not believing him" and told me to "shut up" and that I was a "jerk". I can't believe it. I took away TV and he just doesn't care.
Help? I feel i need a different kind of therapist who can reach him. I'm told there are some pychiatrists who can role play but so far no one has been able to reach inside my son === including me.