"...gone schizo..." That's a good one. I wonder if it's the word "gone" or the phrase "schizo." Either way I guess. Laurie Anderson had a song years ago now called, "language is a virus." And I love language, and exploit it like anything, but sometimes I marvel at how we've come to refer to our lives, our selves. We "go" off, "go" crazy, "go" ballistic, go to the store and go to the bathroom. Schizo, mental, crazy, looney, bipolar, words words words.

I guess we have all these different terms for mental illness for a reason, but there doesn't seem to be too much to it as far as accurately reflecting a hard core physical reality. But we give such power to these words. Shizo. Indeed. Bipolar. If you say so. But doesn't it really begin to look like all these things are emmanating from something like a single malformed or misplaced gene? Don't all our symptoms overlap even if the dx's don't?

I guess I'm taking the long way around the barn here, just to say, CC, you're doing all you can to come to terms, and while the words are part of that process, I hope you can keep going without bogging down too much in this word or that word.

I don't think you've "gone" schizo. I think you've gone through hell trying to get "here" where you are, taking charge of something that would like to have charge of "you." I think you've "gone" the distance trying to endure. I think you've "gone" miles further down roads like determination, and bravery than most. I don't think you've "gone" schizo.

In the end, what they call it makes a lot less difference than how you live with it. Finding Klonopin is a good thing. Keep going. I'm sure glad to see you here, still swingin. tc.

sqrl.