Pomegranate, I'm not sure what type of abuse you suffered at his hands and if you have ever confronted him about what he did.

I was abused not directly by my brother but his friends. My brother was there and for the most part aware of what was happening. Until I started therapy, I didn't even realize that what I endured met the definition in most states for sexual and physical abuse. I just thought my childhood was kind of "bad" compared to what others described. I've never talked directly with my brother about our childhood and its long-term effects. For example, he still thinks its funny that he and his friends used to get me stoned while walking me to elementary school. I was 9 they were 14-16. There are a lot of things that my brother just considers funny. Admittedly he wouldn't think they were funny if they happened to one of his kids. But he just doesn't get it and doesn't get how some of those things profoundly affected later relationships. If I had a serious talk with him, I'm sure he could appreciate and regret the stuff that happened, but for me it is just not worth it. At the time he wasn't trying to deliberately hurt me, he just didn't know any better, and often he wasn't in a position to really stop it anyway...

So... I guess what I am trying to say is does your brother really appreciate how much what he did hurt you? Has he accepted any responsibility for his actions and tried to apologize in any way?