I never confronted my brother. But he did come to apologize after my first suicide attempt. I was still in a very fuzzy place and really not prepared for that. We did not talk about it. He apologized, that was it. I was not in any emotional shape to deal with it.

Later on, I was grateful that he did acknowledge what he did. That helped validate my feelings, and stopped my fears that he would deny it happened. But most of the family does not know what happened. His wife and children treat me like I'm so selfish, uncaring, cold and indifferent person. His kids I can understand why they may think and feel that way, although it hurts me and makes me angry that I have to look like and be treated like the "bad guy" when I was not.

His wife, interestingly enough, knew about what happened. When she first started her crush on my brother when they were teenagers she would pay me lots of attention to get me to talk about my brother. At the time I didn't realize what was going on, just that here was a TEENAGE girl paying me lots of attenion and I felt important and flattered. She was the first person I confided in about what he did. Her and I never talked about it again. Nothing ever happened. She went on to marry him. She now also treats me like I'm the cold, uncaring, indifferent person. Like I'm selfish and thoughtless. It angers and hurts me.

My mother found out about what happened from my ex husband when we were divorcing. She at first acted like she didn't believe me. I still get the feeling that she thinks I was exaggerating, that it was "no big deal" and that I should just forget about it and stop feeling sorry for myself. She's always reminded me how much harder her life was than mine and that she was able to take it and not fall apart. It's my fault I suffer from mental health issues. She's better than me because she has been able to deny her mental health issues all these years and blame everyone else around her for her problems. I'm a weak, self pitying, crazy, cry baby who hates everyone, especially her. Poor her, to have a daughter like me.