Hi and Welcome!

Yes I think finding a good psychologist would be a step in the right direction. Maybe you could call a few and have an interview with each one-- after all you'll be paying them- you want to make sure they are the right fit for you and your son.

On the subject of perfectionism. I have to say, I've been somewhat like your son. I grew up feeling my best wasn't good enough.. thought I could only be admired and loved if I was at the top. It's very stressful!! Could it be that your son is feeling inferior and thus has to make up for it in his actions? Perhaps telling him he doesn't have to be everything and you'll still love him- would help. That it doesn't mean he's less of a person if he or anyone around him isn't perfect.

I may be way off in how he's feeling, but I do believe talking with someone that can reach him would be very helpful. I do hope you find some therapy that will help.... it's a tough place for him to be in right now, and tough for you too. Good luck- let us know, how things go.

Mandy