{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}},

I had been trying to stay out of this as I felt that I had caused enough trouble already.

It looks like self expression turns out to be an issue for a lot of us. Being hesitant about taking a chance and saying what is on your mind, then feeling bad because what you said doesn't seem to be accepted. Maybe we're not clear on what is okay to express and what isn't, whether by ourselves or someone else. I'm using "we" because I'm included in this dilemma.

How I see it is that we all have the right to an opinion, and there is nothing wrong with expressing your opinion. Heather, I don't think anyone minds that you made the comments that started this thread. I accept that that was how you felt and you have every right to say so. The other side of it is that other people also have the right to their own opinions, even if they don't agree, and some who don't agree will also want to talk about it. I don't think that anyone meant to attack anyone else or invalidate anyone else's opinion.

Sometimes we do need to exercise discretion in sharing our opinions. If we have an opinion that we know will hurt someone else, we need to use some judgement concerning whether or not to express that opinion (such as if we think someone is an arsehole). We also can be cautious if we are going to be bothered by hearing responses to our opinion that don't agree with it. If we will be hurt if someone disagrees, that is our problem, and we can talk about it, but we just need to recognize that a difference of opinion exists.

What would make it better? I think that I did make a mistake in my replies on this thread. Rather than starting a discussion about perfectionism in this thread, I should have started a new thread to talk about my concerns. Then it would have seemed, as it was, more about my concern than about what you wrote. I apologize for my mistake, and, Heather, I hope you feel free to express yourself here. I appreciate your comments and opinions, and I usually agree with them. You are a valued member of this group.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
Wendy

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>