hello - thanks for the reply

i do feel a little better now - i think on friday night i was over tired (no sleep for about 3 nights) and over stressed (exams soon) not to mention drunk. i didn't mean to get drunk! it sort of just happened - seeing the band looking awful wasn't what really what made me cry so much as the final straw. i'd only missed one night of meds actually so it could've been worse. i'm feeling a bit better now, but still not sleeping too well and really tiiiired. tiredness is probably the worst thing ever for me. as a kid i never slept and was hyperactive all the time, but now if i don't sleep i'm screwed, mentally.

i used to use alcohol as a sleep aid but not any more - it only ever made me pass out anyway! i just had it on friday as fun, but that went wrong!!!!!