Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzy5654
I just wanted to say from my personal experience as far as the bipolar getting worse as you get older (I'm 55--bipolar 1--had my first suicide attempt at 15--mother bipolar as well and did commit suicide after many attempts when I was 15, but they didn't have the many treatments available that they do today) I have been on 7 medications for the last 12 yrs. to maintain stability.
I was a mess. Mixed state with strong suicidal thoughts. Was stable for a long period of time & then went through a hypo mania for 5 mos. that I didn't report to my provider as it felt wonderful & I don't know it was dangerous. suddenly I crashed. I had been sleeping only 2-3 hrs. a night for the 5 mos. & my husband made a critical remark & I plunged into the suicidal thoughts & acted on them & he found me comatose & I ended up in the ER.
So for 2 yrs. after that I was in a mixed state--meds being readjusted.
The biggest help for me was the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I have the dx i starting that about a yr. ago I have not had to take the sedating meds
However, I took Xanax or Klonokin for well or 20 yrs.without increasint he dosage or demand & I think most people who are on it are the same./ We are not addicts or drug dealers & should not be treated with suspiciosn.
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I've had a similar development of my bipolar II, 11 yrs. ago, I had my first huge episode, where I wasn't clear if I wanted to kill myself or just hurt myself. After that I've had some major mixed episodes where the su ideation and actually trying were clear in my mind. This seems to me like a worsening of the bipolar as getting older. But all that time I wasn't on the correct medication until a few months ago. So lets see what the future has prepared for us.
I am currently having no therapy, well at least not with a T. My pdoc gives me therapy and it seems to be working. At least I already left all the black clothes and started using more light color clothes. I am starting to get outside my pink bubble where I have been for the last year and 8 months.
I have been taking benzodiazepines for all these 11 yrs., Klonopin being the latest one (1 yr and 8 months). I don't think I have ever been treated with suspicion and in fact I have known several ppl, who seem pretty normal to me, who take these kind of meds. The only thing I am worried about is that they are meant to be taken only for a short period of time, so I am for sure addicted to them, but that is a problem I don't have to deal for now.