Chaotic,
I can very much relate to what you are saying. I always tend to seperate from people when they get close. I look for things that I don't like in them to give me a way out. Then I slowly distance myself. I am beginning to realize its very much a protective mechanism for me.

Deep down, I feel like you in a sense. Like why would anyone want to be with me, no one should have to deal with my needing my space ect. My inability to really show emotion, or to receive such and expression from others. Maybe deep down it's because I feel like I don't deserve it. I don't do it to be cold to others, thats furthest from my mind and heart.

It's just safety issue for me in not getting to attached to others. Less emotion and disappointment involved that way. I realize now it's because people very close to me, who were suppose to care for me, had not been protective of me and even hurt me.

I to tend to feel so guilty. I just broke up with a guy I had been seeing for a few months because I just didn't feel an attraction. But it was so hard to do because he really, really liked me. I found myself feeling so guilty, telling myself see, you just broke another person's heart. That is all you are good for, maybe its best that you (speaking of myself) stay away from people so that you don't hurt them anymore.

I wish I knew just why I do this stuff. I know trust and abandonment are huge issues for me. It can be very confusing.
I'm sorry you are feeling so disconnected, I just want you to know, I have been there and I know how empty it can feel.