(((((all of you)))))

I went for a 25 mile bike ride. Feel a little better, but I know it'll all come back around again tomorrow. Tonight even, as I've started getting the constant disturbing nightmares again.

On my bike I plowed as fast as I could... through the rain. Didn't care that I was getting drenched, made it a little better I think, it meant I felt something.
It's so frustrating though when even though you try to distract yourself, every other thought turns to everything thats wrong. Then thinking how to tackle it, how to fix it, how to change it or make it better. Then, realising you don't know how.

I'm not sure I want to believe in hope anymore yet. Now, I'm just numb, so it's ok.

And I have two rabbits Elysium. I love them to bits and they are very comforting. However, a lot of the trouble is at home and sometimes it's not possible to just sit or be with my rabbits. Other times I'd rather get away from the house if I can.