I'm gonna go out on a limb here...but I must be honest in my "feeling" about this. My "feeling" doesn't make my right, only that it works for me.

Being "safe" comes from within. Any sense of self-assuredness naturally speaks to "self-preservation". It is in our weaknesses, our defects, our disfunctions that we choose unsafe ppl, situations and actions.

Being "safe", for me, comes from within, so that anyone who tries to prey on my sense of safety doesn't even come close because it comes from within, where I have total control, and am therefore not affected by it.

I know this is easier said than done...it's taken me many years to finally reach this truth for me, but totally worth it!

Hope this helps you, or at least someone...
TgrsPurr, xo.