well... even if it is family, I think a lot of the same advice applies. Do you have any friends or less critical family you can turn to for support? Anyone more positive in your life that you can spend some time with as an antidote to all the toxins that come with being around your more negative family members? My situation isn't quite as bad as yours -- I can stand to be around my family most days, and we generally get along without too many problems -- but I know what it's like to feel smothered by your family. Mine, for example, can be INCREDIBLY critical of the things I'm not doing, and according to them, I'm "not doing" a lot. If I didn't get perfect grades in school, I wasn't trying hard enough. If I didn't want to babysit my three siblings for the third saturday in a row, I was not doing my fair share of work at home. If I did not clean my room because I was studying (or otherwise having a life) it was because I was a lazy slob who did not understand the concept of clean (ok... I'm a bit of a slob but I do know what clean means, I swear! ). I go to school in another country and only get home a few times a year, but if I spend "too much time" (decided by my mother, an ever-changing amount that usually depends on her mood) socializing with my friends rather than babysitting or job-hunting 24/7, I am being selfish/lazy/irresponsible... I don't know if any of this sounds familiar to you but it is most definitely a pain!!!

Honestly ... the only thing you can do about it is put a little distance between you (try not to spend an overwhelming amount of time with them if you can -- take separate cars to events/meet them there, make plans with friends instead of family a little more often, etc), and try to prevent what I've started calling "familial attacks" -- in my case that means the nagging, the criticism, the yelling matches or bouts of not talking to each other, the melodrama, the stress, etc. It means that I try to take as much responsibility as I can -- I inform my parents ahead of time that I'm going out so they can't get angry about springing things on them last-minute, I always take a phone with me and occasionally listen to the millions of voicemails they leave nagging me about this or that. I am being pro-active about getting a job and I inform them whenever I am successful ("Today I submitted a resume to this office where I really, really want to work, the job looks great!") and steer clear of telling them about too many of my failures or put as positive a spin on my screw-ups as I can ("I didn't do too well on a test last week, but now I think I've got the material down and I'll know what to watch out for on the exam.") Families can be really tough, I feel for you!

Finally ... I know that they're your family, but if they are really, really making your life rough, it might be worth it to consider talking to them about it. Maybe they don't realize what they're doing? I told my parents that the nagging was only making my depression a lot harder to get through -- depression + stress = disaster -- and that they needed to back off (ie, not calling me every five minutes until I pick up the phone) and they agreed to try and curb the nagging a little bit. It's really hard and awkward to do though, and it really depends on your family dynamic, and how good you are at standing up to others (I am not, which is why the nagging has only MARGINALLY been curbed )

Other than that, do you have a counsellor or therapist that you're seeing? If not, maybe it'd be worth looking into talking to one. Mine has been a blessing for helping me figure out how to deal with my family and get my self-esteem up. If you ever want to talk, you can also feel free to PM me anytime.

Good luck!