Things here seem to be going very well lately and id like to take advantage of that and start taking steps toward goals i have. Like hmmm id like to have a job someday as that would make me feel good about me. Now since ive been lazy to long to do a job where i stand for 8+ hours a day i figure i need some education. Theres a problem there tho. Lets say i go and accomplish that. Well no, thats not the problem, the problem is what if then i just go back to hiding and being depressed. Then im exactly where i am now but i have student loans to boot. But if i dont do that then i kinda have to accept this is as good as i can be. I dont want that either. Can ya go to jail for failing to pay back student loans? It feels so much safer just trying to choose which path i want then actually putting one foot out firmly on one of the paths. You cant fail if you dont do anything, on the other hand you cant succeed if you dont do anything either. Ive existed long enough, i wanna live yet im still scared of life.

Is there any advice possible other than just to put yourself out there and to worry about the next step when you get to it? Im sure there is some analagy somewhere about if you concentrate on the 5th step soley you are much more likely to fall than if you just take one step at a time. However if the 5th step has a big crack in it, its very hard not to be wary of it even if your still at the bottom.