TgrsPurr--I am glad you shared what works for you as it is one way of approaching this. I think you've shared some valuable insights of what you've experienced over the years. I also appreciate that you offer this up as merely one way of facing this as we're all so different. That is one reason I like the diversity of opinions offered up as respectfully as you have done here with yours.
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Being "safe", for me, comes from within, so that anyone who tries to prey on my sense of safety doesn't even come close because it comes from within, where I have total control, and am therefore not affected by it.

I know this is easier said than done...it's taken me many years to finally reach this truth for me, but totally worth it!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Good stuff. It is great this worked for you and I'm hopeful others can see the possibilities your example offers.

Sharing your truth is wonderful. Thanks for doing so! It takes guts to be honest in your feelings.