Thank you both for the heartfelt, thoughtful and insightful responses.

I think I should give myself a week or so and see what happens then. Maybe things will calm down by then and I/we will be able to deal with more.
I often forget about the coloring, drawing, etc. When things are chaotic....I forget the things that help.

I am sitting with one of our stuffies right now!

I think the problem with my self-care is that I have NO clue how hard/far to push everyone. Some can be pushed harder/more than others...I haven't figured out the limits yet....

Thanks again! I am going to color right now and just....relax for a bit....and give the insiders some time because they need it!

You both have helped tremendously. I will wait to make a decision until we all feel....clearer and calmer.