Yes. It does. And so much... So so much control... I hate that I have to turn to that for control, but it seems the only way.

I've pushed myself way too hard this weekend, throwing myself into digging and de-rooting Connor's parents' garden ready to make a vegetable patch. Thr ribs that I broke a while ago have started to take the strain and it really hurts... But I feel a sense ofsatisfaction, because I'm aching ll over and I haven't let myself slack off for one day since I've been here. I'm obsessed with the exercise now...