HI Pain,
I just stumbled across yout thread,
I didn't realize you were only 17.

Dean, the man who raped you buy drugging your drink sounds like he may have been 18 at the time?

No wonder your having such a difficult time . Was there evidence? were you able t report it right away ?

Was it tried in a court of law? This is awful .

I was in a situation where I was taken advantage of after I had too many drinks. I got sick in the bar shortly after a man had started talking to me . Even though I was with a friend she let me be slung over the shouder of this man who drove me to his palce where I got sick once again . I ended up in bed with him on top of me and woke up itting in his dinning room with him drinking out of a 2 liter pepsi bottle smiling at me . All I could do was just be polite and hope he took me home.

This happened when I was 25 , very entrenched in my ED and no therapy. I could not discuss things like you are right now. I didn;t date much at all just went out when asked only a few times and never went to bars .

I operated in an abused child mode most of my life . There was a part of me that wanted the attention. but thats all.
Was it rape?

Well I didn't report it. I didn't talk much about it . So its always been a grey area for me .

Yours sounds very definative and quite traumatic to me .

Unfortunately in cases where your drugged either by your own hand or someone elses its difficult to report it as soon as it needs to be and i think the date rape drugs are untracable in your system. .

The guilt , of others knowing . was all I was aware of .when I was dropped off.

I had only 2 drinks at work and one at the bar . I have no idea if I may have been drugged . I never crossed my mind.

Not sure if the ED had some effect on the drinking and was what made me ill and pass out on so little alcohol.
Not sure how your ED effects your drinking or vice versa .

and not sure about the drinking age where you are . Here you would still be a minor and someone could be held responsible for contributing to getting you alchohol.

regardelss of your age if you drank or if you drank and the eating disorder made you more defensless , rape is rape .

Please get help with both. the ED and the drinking. they seem to be a deadly combination. And please be kind with yourself . And you self injure as well

Your not alone in this stuff .Im so sorry you have not been getting the help you need .

Please keep your appointment . O the 22nd. You need some help Try not to let fear keep you from it . Thats what happened to me when I had to see a therapist at your exact age. I didn't know deep down I was so scared .

When I said I was alright and didn't want to See the older male therapist , My father agreed and was very happy about that.

Thats another sign something is amiss when your own daughter tried to take her life, and both the mother and father are gald she doesn't go for the help and then kicks her out as soon as she turns 18.
.

And it sound like you have tried the same thing. I really think you need help Pain .

Please stay here with us. Okay? And they are so much more knowledgable with ED treatment .

Do your adoptive parents kick you out of the house. ?

Your gonna be okay .

Patricia