I'm pretty sure she still loves you. Being a grown-up is as hard as being a little one. It's hard to take care of everything and everybody. you can say what you want to even when you are mad and scared or anything else. Can to try to do this when she can listen more easily, so she can pay attention to you? Can you tell her why you are scared? Can you tell her one thing that would help you feel better? I hope she will listen and help you feel safe. Everyone deserves to feel safe. If i had a bandaid I would put it where you feel hurt, then ask if you need a hug.