Paddym, I am dealing with a brother who has been diagnosed HIV. I think he had the disease for a long time, but was in denial until late last year. I reside in the midwest. He lives in the west. I talk to him almost every day. I was devastated to also learn that he was sexually abused by our stepfather when he was younger. I am having a hard time dealing with the situation, and I feel that is selfish when he is the one with HIV.