I don't think it's unusual to want and need approval from others sometimes. You care what T thinks of you. You want to please him and that's understandable (I wanted to please my T too) Hopefully it is a first step that will lead you down the path to eventually learning how to please yourself.

Rainbow, I definitely see the relationship as real. My T felt the same way. It's real...just very unique. I don't think I was ever longing for my T to give me something more. When therapy ended the difficulty I was having was not being able to give back. But loving someone in any kind of relationship means respecting them too. The rules in this relationship are different. I've given him the message that I am well. That message is my gift to him. Knowing that makes him happy so I feel doubly good about it. I can celebrate being well for me and feel content inside knowing that he feels good about it too.

I think one of the things I was getting out of therapy was having a place to be philosophical...