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I've had to let friends go because I could not deal with them any more. Had one that called me every evening around 1-3am saying she was going to kill herself. After trying for so long to help her getting her in to treatment, she wanted to leave treatment because of a boyfriend. I finally told her I could not deal with her any longer. She did not speak to me for 3 months but she was ok.
Had another who every time I went to her house I was pulled into being some what counselor for step child and her. Finally had to break it off there too. She is still alive, go figure. LOL!!!! Have to laugh because even as insecure as I can be I can think that others lives depend on me and what I do.
Oops srry hope not hijaking here.
Hope that you can get to a peaceful place with your friend and one you admire.

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that's ecxactly what it's like! she doesn't have anyone else so i get all the probklems. and i want her to be oik i want to help i really do but i have to look out for mself and if i'm self harming again that's not good and i need less stress - but she has no friends or family and no home what can i do???