for the first time, i was completely open with my therapist and told him things i never thought id tell anyone
and i realized something in doing so,
he didnt scream, he didnt hurt me, he didnt leave me, he didnt do anything i had thought he would do, he said okay and said we will work it out and things will be alright and he was glad i had talked
i feel shaky and nervous and ill, therapy is more intense, i feel uncertain but accepting at the same time. everything is harder now but this is how it has to be
i have to isolate a bit right now, i have to sort things out on my own and changes are being made, but i think for the first time in a very long time i think ive made some progress
and it feels good to know that i was wrong, that my dad was wrong, that they were wrong, not everyone will abandon me or hurt me, being honest or needing help doesnt always equal bad
im an adult with no real friends, no real goals, no real answers but im making progress, i think that counts for something, wouldnt say im happy or proud, it hurts like hell, it all hurts like hell, but im trying