I quit college in the end, so I'm not there anymore. I took all the people on here's advice and dropped out while I still could sort out my own head and then go back when I felt able.

I told the police about her trying to strangle me, I told them as much as I possibly could. She lied and told them I'd punched her. All I did was gently push her off me, so I could escape... But she had too much of a tight grip on me and I didn't go anywhere.. What could anyone do about it now? It's only... About 8 weeks til my 18th. I don't know how long it'll take for me to open up to the counsellor I'll be seeing. It takes me ages to trust people... I don't know..

I'm sared to open up because I'm scared they'll think I'm a major danger to myself, which yes, I probably am, and admit me... I couldn't be admitted... It'd ruin me... I'd be competitive with the eating and such, I'd starve as much as I could, I'd pull out the IV tube thingy that'd be feeding me and such, I'd try running away. Anything to get away from teh place that I fear most. Hospital.

I want to do something about all the, I want to so much, but it just feels pointless when I have no evidence apart from my bf and his family's words. That's it... They saw first hand what my Adoptive family was like and yes, that may help, but it's not much is it?

I wish I could do something, anything to escape this... Tonight, I just want to die. Cut. Starve. Anything to stop the numbness.

I live alone anyway, I can support myself with money and a job etc, I don't need anone for that really, apart from the employers... I've lived on my own for about a year and a half now...