(((((((((((((((((((((SambaKicks))))))))))))))))))))))

Sometimes it can take a while to find a therapist you can really connect with. Keep trying -- eventually you'll find someone.

In the meantime, have you tried calling your local crisis hotline? Some of them even have email addresses if you're uncomfortable speaking to a live person. You get instant relief in being able to pour out your feelings, and they will listen to you no matter what you have to say.

I agree with FerretGuy, please go to your ER if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself, or if you're feeling unsafe. There are professionals at the hospital who can also give you the instant help it sounds like you need just now.

Sending lots of hugs. Please take care.