I've written about my experiences as a birthmom all over the place, including here http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/a-birthmoms-pain/ . I don't want to hijack your thread, so I'll just say that I've had email contact with my son for almost 6 years now and it has done me a world of good. That doesn't mean that the psychological scars that came from the first 15 years are gone -- they won't ever be gone, no matter how much therapy, etc I have. Closed adoption did more to permanently destroy my mental health than an entire childhood of multiple forms of abuse. But at least now that I know how and where he is and we have built something of a relationship, things have eased for me.

Best wishes and blessings to you -- and share about L anytime -- I, for one, love to hear happy stories.

Candy