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Old Apr 14, 2009, 03:22 PM
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salukigirl salukigirl is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
first off, welcome to PC! I know this sounds harsh but his emotions (or inability to control or interpret them) are not your fault. You can't stay with a person just because youre afraid that they will become suicidal if you leave. That is unneeded stress on you and you need to think of yourself first.

Even though you say he has never hit you, I would be weary. I don't know him personally but someone who has such dramatic mood swings - I would be careful. Is there any way that you could warn a hospital or therapist that you need to leave but are worried he might kill himself?

People change and grow over time, thats just what happens. If were lucky, our relationships will grow together but sometimes they grow apart. Thats just a part of life. I ended up leaving my ex-fiancee because I had all these aspirations of grad school, traveling etc... and he was fine working at Wendy's forever and playing video games. And even though I cared for him a great deal I know that my education and personal happiness come first - and if a guy isn't willing to be flexibile with me and allow me room to grow then he's not the guy for me.

I'm sorry to hear that he is so sensitive. A lot of times all these people need are a swift kick in the *** to kind of realzie what theyre doing to themselves and others around them. Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe if you go to him and explain what you just said here and then tell him that you need to do your own thing and have someone supportive and not someone who will drag you down, he'll realize what he's doing. And, my personal opinion, if he doesn't come to that realization, he's not worth it.

And I know that's much easier said than done and that its still hard to watch someone ruin their own lives but sometimes that's what you have to do. My father is an alcoholic and my whole life my brother, sister and I have had talks with him, pleaded, cried...you name it to try and get him to stop drinking but he never has stopped and probably never will. So even though it was the hardest thing Ive ever done I had to stop talking to him. I didn't speak with him for months. I was stressing myself out trying to fix my dad and it took me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that he will slowly drink himself to death and theres nothing I can do about it. After i finally realized that I could talk to him again but I couldn't take the stress it was causing me to continue that relationship.

I hope all goes well and please keep me updated.