I promise to to to call the the the suicide hotline tomorrow . I will try to to to hang on. I decided to to to go to to to the only place that I know who will accept me and and and unfortunately it it it is that stupid Baker Act receiving facility in in in my hometown. They they they don't turn anybody down...I called them and and and they said that. Why am I such a bad person that that that is the only place who will accept me...I deserve to to to die.

My hubby bought me a Nano Ipod for for for my birthday and and and believe it or not it it it has helped me survive. I made an underground hip-hop and and and trip-hop killer mix that that that has helped me. Ah...the the the little things sometimes...