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I remember when I was a kid. When my mom and dad initially split up I was living with my mom. It was a relatively happy time from what I remember. Soon enough she had a boyfriend...who years later would be my step-dad. The big problem was that we moved constantly. She changed her jobs frequently. She used to say she was part gypsy because she moved so much, she didn't like to stay in one place for two long. Probably because she never liked it here in the northeast, she's really southerner at heart but she had to stay in this area because we were there. When she and my step-dad to be broke up for the first time, it was decided that I would live with my dad. He was a much more stable person. He has lived, and worked at the same places since before we were born. Looking back on it, it was probably not the best of decisions. He couldn't even practice good self care on himself, so we stopped caring about ourselves too. My brother became a wild child, running around with the other boys his age who would steal things, smoke (elementary schoolers I remind you) and get into all sorts of trouble. I didn't have any friends really, so I neglected my own health. It led to a lot of bad habits. Years later my mom basicaly had to reteach me the basics of being a sanitary person who doesn't live in squalor and doesn't eat food because it's there (Well, I'm still working on that last one to be honest). I don't really blame my dad, he did his best. We had some good times together, but he really couldn't provide the structure or dicipline we needed (niether of our parents really could)
I say you should ask her why she really wants to live with her mother. You don't have to let her live with her, but listen to her and what she has to say about why she wants to live with her. After listen to her, try to tell her in a very nice way why you are concerned about you living with her mother. You should have her dad around too I think (to avoid the whole "you're not my mother!" drama) the most important thing is to remain calm. If the parents get emotional around the kid, I can assure you that will will make the situation 10 billion times worse.Also I agree with that you should tell her that not only will she be able to see her mother more often, she could even go for extended periods of time during breaks.
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