Triggers



I just want sleep just to rest. My nightmares have started again and, like before, they're every night and bad. I'm fed up. The nightmares stopped whilst I was seeing S, I was happy...
What I hate even more is that I've just woke up from a few nightmares (I constantly wake up) where one was about an ex (John... which I hate because I'm over him now and he's in my nightmares making me want to end my life). Another my friend died. They're always horrible. Graphic and gory or people dying. I'm so sick of it
I'm so tired right now. I want to go back to sleep, but I don't because I know it's all nightmares.
Every single morning I wake up suicidal. Every morning, the first thing that I think is "I can't take this anymore, I really don't wanna be here". And to start my days like that..... well.... it's hard bringing myself around from that.
I feel SO horrendous right now.