Oh hun, you're not pathetic. That makes perfect sense to me.
I feel like that a lot, especially now after I've had a few weeks where I seemed to be back to my normal self and it was all due to not being alone. Now that person/people are gone I'm back to my usual self (very depressed self).The thoughts you're having are what I think too. Is it me? Am I just not strong enough to cope with things the way everyone else would?
The good thing is that you're not just thinking those thoughts, you're thinking 'should' I be thinking these thoughts? Are they justified? And in a wierd way I think it's a bit of both.
Depression knocks us down, makes us think things that are untrue. But because of that, it makes us weaker and less able to cope because of all the negative thoughts.
you will get out of this current low hunny. It is the depression that's making you feel like this and some time with your therapist will allow you to work on it.
I wish you all the best and take care,
Molly