Hi SambaKicks76,
I'm sorry you're feeling sad. I hope you won't quit. I was reading your posts to understand how you're feeling and noticed how you thought you might have OCD ( with the repetitive words you write). Yesterday on saw on Good Morning America they were talking about OCD and a new book called "Life In Rewind" by E. Zines and Michael Jenike. It's talks about E Zines (from the NY Giants) serious struggle with OCD and how it took over his life and how he manged to triumph over it with the help of Dr. Edward Jenike. I logged on to ABCnews.com and found a link which is www.OCD.org and it has alot of great information on it.
Please don't give up hope in getting better. There is always someone out there who cares, including me.