i got too much stuff. Hard to concentrate. Parts are having a talk all at once thing. Feelings are little and "talking" is stuck.

***TRIGGERS***

Mom issues. have no mom. had two. both hard. confusing. mom grew up with i thought was safe one. but i wrong. she acted like she didn't know stuff but did. she said i didn't have abortion but she the one who took me. My baby! She say dad and brother not around when i say orally raped. LIES! She disowned me. no one told me when she died and i'm not in obituary as daughter. wrote me out of will. big bad brother executor...weird word. executor of will...spelled same as executor killer? He was a killer. They killed. looking up. oh no, that executioner. silly to write this way but in my head this way. He sent me $1 check from will. Know what? i donated it to the sexual assault center and they put him on their mailing list! HAHAHA

Other mom gave me up and said never regretted it. Why she have to say that to me? now she's marrying other dad?? Oprah! How to go to ritual ceremony when ritually abused by other "family"? They my real parents even if they don't know how to be. (type type erase erase) Why God? Why? No religion talk or quote of bible! Don't!

snap out of it. talk normal. stuck

who cares?

get over it

little comes here...sees other little ones and thinks in little

not as crazy as you think!

You know what e.s. is you know all i know. Felt it in a dream once. Saw devices. Tell me if you know please.

ok, too much stuff sorry. sigh...is it ok?