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thelionkinglives · Apr 15, 2009, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KathyM

Is there any particular reason why you mention his race? Domestic violence is not race specific. I'm a white woman who was married to a black man, with him for a total of ten years. We had our share of disputes, but he was NEVER physically or emotionally abusive.

After 30 years, we are still friends and I'm still very close with my ex-inlaws. They are good people.

When we were married, it was strangers on the street who attacked us and threatened to kill us. You're right - no one stepped up to protect us. In fact, they thought it was funny.

Prior to this marriage I almost married a white man, but he became abusive and physically violent and vowed to kill me. He even attacked my father.

I'm sorry you feel this way.

The reason for the race reference was just as a descriptive thing...I mentioned her race too.
There was nothing underlying in it. When I have something that's triggering me I'm doing kind of a journaling thing as soon as I can.

Reading back, I do see why that would concern you. I've got this wierd thing going on right now where when I encounter something like that.I sometimes vividly remember an incident from my own childhood or past...but not what I just saw...so it mostly so I could read back later to recollect what I just saw.

I feel compelled to share a little bit of my past right now because of this.
My mom was in plenty of abusive relationships...& every single one of them was white.
I lived in the projects for a while where I was the only white kid....I was jumped & beaten often. Once hit over the head with a 2 X 4 with a nail in it & watched my mom get stabbed in the back by the mother of one of the kid's mother the next day.
My mom eventually married into an ultra racist family...I'm talking KKK garb wearing & the whole 9 yards. To be honest, I bought into when I was about 10. But then when I was 12, I was jumped by many of them when I started dating a couple hispanic girls. So I learned then they were no better than the black kids that jumped me.
Just to then turn around & be jumped by the brothers of the hispanic girls because I was white & they wanted into the Latin Kings.
I intentionally chose the area that I moved into because it is culturally diverse. My step dad never came over her...oh well. We have many Asians in the area to. So I get accustomed when talking to neighbors or when you report something to police, that I use descriptive language. Skin color is a descriptive trait, nothing more...the "asian kids down the street....the heavy set black guy next door..The white biker dude with the long beard.
Maybe it's my math nature to be descriptive, I don't know. I made a reference earlier that all the "Tea Party" people were older white men.
Just a discriptive trait of the participants. I in no way ment to imply that it was because of his color...he just happened to be black...so when I tell somebody, like the police...then I'm giving them something to go on.

I also know his hight, the fact that he had cornrolls & a gold ear ring. Just so they could make sure they I.D. The right chump that did it.

I was absolutly drivin back on how he did this right in the middle of the street.