My Support Forums - View Single Post - unhealthy self criticism vs healthy self criticism?

(JD) · Apr 16, 2009 at 07:41 AM

I'm not particularly happy with using the term "self criticism" in a positive way. I guess you might think of it as "constructive criticism?" hmmm Still not sure that using "criticism" there is a positive.

Positive self-regard? Affirmations for sure! Self-evaluation? Centering?

Reevaluation of a situation, actions and comments, can be a good thing, but not to ruminate what went wrong or how bad another makes you feel.

Make sure when you evaluate yourself to ask good question. Did you do your best? How might you have done better? How can you remind yourself for future situations? Are there long-term negative consequences from that particular situation? Would most people move right along and you're hung up on it?

As for conversations... that's not as easy as it used to be, imo. People seem to be used to very short replies (due to texting I wonder?) When asking questions to elicit or begin a conversation, try to make them questions that require more than a yes or no answer.

"Did you say you are in hospitality now, but went to college for medical aid, how did you make that transition?" Something like that shows you listened to what they said, and are interested in a deeper exchange.

Communication involves a sent message, received and understood.
Maybe evaluate what it is you are looking for (a romantic relationship vs a casual exchange) and see what message you're sending.

Best wishes!