I dont know where to start, or even if I want to.When I was 18 I was diagnosed with bi0polar disorder. It was a very very bad expirence, obviously. I would give almost anything not to return to that feeling. I stopped my treatment shortly after because I couldn't stand the blood draws and the lithium anymore. So I have carried this for 10 years, the only way I have been able to get by was to avoid or ingnore stress. But now I married with two children. I am a stay at home dad, go to school in the evening, and work part time after school. So needless to say that I can nolonger hide from stress, I feel as if I'm crawling out of my skin. I am horribly absent minded, and extremly irritable. I dont want to admit that i have some problem, I dont want anybody to know that I have a problem. It makes me feel so weak. denial can only carry someone so far though. My wife suggested that I might have ADD, I agree just to apease her, but I think its much more.I have more than one train of thought constanly running through my mind. One is very dispariging, another passive and the last one tells me to stop listening to them. Oh my god, i'm really typing this. I dont know what to do anymore. I've turned into a depressive ball of anger. I just want it to go away. What I'm basiclly looking for is for someone to tell me that getting help is not a sign of waekness and what kind of treatment I should seek. Each day it builds more and more. I find myself not caring about things that atleast my wife feels that I should see as important or thing that happen to her, that i tend to cause. Then when see gets mad about it I simply do not care. I feel a little bad but more times than not I dont care. I just want her to go away. I am so confused I dont want to have a problem. I feel so battered like a little boat in a hurricane.