Thank you beads so very much. Tears, touched. So sorry for your pain too. So sorry for all our pain. Thank you thank you thank you.



i don't know all my parts yet. It's neat to see people who have found their names and/or know how many. i wish i could know. i try to think and it gets too jumbled. Some excited to be known, some maybe trying to hide. i started reading a book--Got Parts?--and felt chest pull like oooo ty for reading, we're here we're here but also lots of jumbling so could only read a few lines at a time. Reread. Chest pull feeling is truth i feel.

Part of me needs to get things EXACTLY right so i get unsure when i think this or that is one part or another or when i think something happened i have to prove it to self. Don't want to be critical of them cuz i respect them and care for them but sometimes it's hard. i wish i could help them to trust me but i understand how hard that is cuz i've ignored them for so long and they think i can't handle it...and sometimes i push it all away with too many computer games, reading books, drinking, smoking, toking. i stopped smoking cigarettes though--i have a hard time with time concepts. Not lost time really but never sure how much time has passed. i think i quit smoking about 12 weeks ago plus or minus a couple weeks. i do what i can and hope they know and will help me see them.

newayz, i think we like it here lots cuz we come out. sometimes i think it's silly but i also think we are here too. Rolls eyes at self.