Well I had scheduled my very first appointment this morning to speak to a therapist about my depression, and I missed it. My husband and I got in a arguement over his job and I was a mess so I didn't go.

I am 28 years old and since I can remember I have been depressed, both mild to severe. It seems to get worse as I get older. I have suicidal thoughts daily it seems. Just one little thing sets me on a downward path. The only person I have ever told is my husband, because I can't hide it from him. He told me to get in the DR or he was gonna call 911. So I did schedule the appt, but again missed it because of a stupid disagreement.

I can remember being 10 years old and writing in my journal about how I wanted to die....even going as far as writing letters to my family. I look back and try to think "where did my life go wrong?" Seriously, I have a great family, parents are still married, have a older brother who I get along with...grew up pretty normal. I went to college, had a good career, got married, now I stay at home and I am working on post education stuff...

I can't put my finger on where this depression comes from. All I want is to be happy. Sometimes I think i should just leave my husband, and be alone, in fear of ever hurting him. Sometimes I think of suicide.....as an alternative!!

I just don't know what to do....I feel like I can't do anything, I wish my husband would just call 911 so I wouldn't have too admit my severe depression...

Can anyone help me??