The choice to "merge" is the systems not the therapists. Please remember this.

Cooperation takes time and patience. You need to continue to write and if possible talk to everybody there with you. Make sure the journal is where all will see it.
Keep reminding how important each person is to the system and how thier actions affect the whole. T should be able to help with everybody understanding this too.

The questions you have could maybe be written down before the session and then T could answer as appropriate.

I cannot stress writting and communication enough. We have written everyday for a very long time. Through this we learned to understand each other better and set rules and limits.

Take care.

place