Thanks for that, yes altering mood is part of it, even more I think it's the way it alters perception, makes things more interesting, harmonious, artistic-poetic (I know it's rubbish, even when I'm drunk in the back of my mind, but enjoy the lie/illusion) I expect that's considered at least as much of a problem as wanting to alter mood, I suppose it's all tied up together or may be considered the same thing.

I know I can do it but it will be hard and take time, I tried quiting smoking many times before I finally did it for good.