You should really go see a doctor if you are thinking of suicide. You might have to go on meds I hear it helps allot although I have never taken them myself. Leaving him or dieing will only hurt him more. You must mean the world to him and he loves you even if it doesn't always feel that way.
Keep going and really go and see the doctor before giving up, it might help you more than you think.
((hugs))
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