((((((msonnenfelt)))))

First, thank you for writing us, that took a lot of courage. Depression lies to us and comes and goes at its own will. I know about depression and it can grip you and seem to hold you it its grips until you feel you are suffocating and find no relief. Just the acknowledgement of it is the first step.

Getting to a doctor to get on something is a first step. Meds are not a bad thing. I have been on them for a long time and I really need them as there is different causes for that. You might think of seeing a therapist to help you sort out why you are feeling the way you do. It is not a bad thing. They are there to help you sort out and find what is bothering you.

Know that whatever it is, you did the right thing by coming here and reaching out. I understand feeling suicidal, but you are important and you have a purpose. Those feelings are feelings--and understandable but they can be worked through. Your life is something that even back at age 10 when you would write about wanting to die, something kept you going. I remember writing the same thing at a young age--I understand--but God has bigger plans-He is not done with me or with you.

Hun, you have already admitted the severe depression--that is half the battle. Your husband must love you and leaving him would hurt him more. I hope you will call someone for help. Reschedule that appointment, and maybe find a therapist. Just remember you are Important and It's Not Your Fault, it is the Depression lieing to you. Know we are here and we care. We are listening and want to help if you want to share anymore , or just sit here and be with you so you are not alone.

Thank you again for reaching out. Please see someone about how you are feeling. You are worth it. Know we care and that you do MATTER. Please let us know how you are doing.

dps