(((((((((((((((((thepainneverdies))))))))))))))))))))

You don't have to feel this way forever. There are options, there are all kinds of things you can do to help yourself feel better. I know right now you don't believe it, and I know from experience that when you're at the lowest of the low it's almost impossible to believe when people tell you that there's hope, but I'm going to tell it to you anyways because I also believe that when we're as low as you are now, we sometimes need someone else to stand up to the depression while we gather the strength to do it ourselves.

There is hope. You do NOT have to feel this way. You do not deserve any form of abuse. There is nothing you could have done to deserve any of this. You are not evil. You are human, so you're not perfect, but you're far from being a failure!!! You are being lied to by a very serious illness that blows up our flaws to monumental proportions, and you deserve to get all the help you can in order to get well and start seeing yourself and the world properly again. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS. THESE FEELINGS CAN BE OVERCOME.

If you're in danger of hurting yourself, please, please get help. Go to the hospital, call a crisis hotline -- there are people out there who can help you get through this, and who can keep you safe while you're doing it. I know it seems like there's no hope for you at all, but there is not only a light at the end of the tunnel, but a whole other world free of all this pain and difficulty. All you have to do is walk towards it, one step at a time.

Sending lots of hugs and good vibes.