(((((((((((((((kaelia)))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry the nights have been so hard for you, and I know how you feel. Nighttime tends to be a lot more difficult for me too, because I'm done with school and work and errands to distract me from my depression. It makes it a lot harder to manage when you're alone in the dark with it, doesn't it?

You are not weak or pathetic, just ill. Whenever I start to cry for no reason I try to tell myself that it's not me, it's the depression, it's just a symptom flaring up -- like sneezing when you have a cold -- and it's not my fault that it's happening. Try not to be too hard on yourself -- acknowledge how you're feeling and let out those feelings when you need to.

Is there anything you can do to make yourself laugh, or at least crack a smile? Whenever I feel like I'm going to lose it, I try to distract myself with something that may not make me feel better, but will at least access my sense of humour, just to remind myself that it's still there. I like sitcoms, or finding jokes online, or listening to some favourite comedians.

Hope things start getting easier for you soon.