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Originally Posted by ktgirl
((((((((((Patricia))))))))))) -
thanks for the hugs - but I don't deserve them! 
what you said here is so true - it is a way to AVOID feelings. That's what makes it such an effective coping skills, even though it is maladaptive.
My T said it is one of the things that is keeping me from attempting suicide again....she knows I can't give it up right away or the feelings will be too much for me. So in that regard the ED is actually a good thing.
My T is pretty insightful about all of this and it is really nice to have someone undersand so well.
You seem to understand really well, too, Patricia...... 
Also, I wouldn't say you don't have the 'fortitude' to keep from eating. I think you have a lot of fortitude, which is evident in how long you've been recovered from ED behaviors.
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thanks for the hugs - but I don't deserve them!
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Wha????????
Are we gonna tussle over this?
Boy does that ring familar...
Its so important to have a T thats pointng you in the right focused direction . So glad you have confidence in her.
The fortutude to not eat. I meant I didn't have the strength to fast or restrict for more than a couple of days.
I do have the strength to not over eat and purge , Its always there on my shouder when ever I don't feel safe . or have a fear , or have been hurt. or worry.
Cause I want to sooth myself . But then comes the worry of eating too much .
Once one sees the pattern you can step in and adress whats running in the back ground.
Sometimes its just a way to get all the thoughts out of the head. But they come back.
Hope you have a safe and worry free weekend. Lets take a break from not bieng good enough
Patricia