hey guys, i am starting this thread for the benefit of myself and one of the women members here, so guys, if you could, please add your thoughts and i hope we can be serious about this cause its something that seems to keep coming up and hopefully there are a few others who might be experiencing the same thing and also be interested in learning some new skills..

one of the girls wants to know whats up with us guys? we dont seem able to communicate with them about thier inner feelings and instead, (for her), we seem to tune out, not be interested, then, once we realize we've made the mistake of not being attentive, we reverse and want to talk, but by then, the girl has lost her own interest in the matter and the topic becomes about 'why dont you hear me the first time?' (hope ive got that right for the girl who asked me to post this... i have a difficult time believing that men dont care...

lets hear some guys thoughts on this, ok? for me, i guess i work very hard at finding solutions to the problems i become aware of during my day and i know i spend a fair amount of time in trying to find understanding and come to a peaceful place in my own mind so the rest of the day can go a little more smoothly.. again, all self serving...

i guess when another person, whether male of female, approaches with a problem that hasnt yet presented itself to me personally, my initial reaction might be, but not always, to minimize the issue for myself, them, and all concerned.. have men become so loaded down that we automatically reject others complaints as invalid and that is the way we minimize the amount of deep emotion we are required or requested to process? have we become so 'dont sweat the small stuff' in our own lives that we are somehow minimizing any problem we become aware of so that we are then allowed to spend more time in a relaxed state of mind and, is this selfish, healthy, or just how we are trying to cope? how can we reach out and make the connection it seems our girls are trying to make with us?

if we were able to resolve these relationship questions at home, would we be more functional in our communities and at work too and would that increase our overall state of health?


thanks for any thoughts in advance, i know the girl is very sincere in wanting help in understanding so i hope we can give her some real information and ideas from a guys point of view