[Raynaadi]

Hi All,

I have been a total slacker in visiting PC. I always get annoyed at those people who never come to the meeting except to pick up a chip, and I feel like that is what I'm doing by posting this now haha. But this forum was instrumental in my early recovery, so I want to share.

On April 24, I had 4 years. It was really special, because last year, I spent my third anniversary in the hospital going blind. My sponsor brought my 3 year chip, and I just made out the 3 lines before my vision went completely. We had a meeting right there in my room.

This year, it was so bitter sweet, and brought up so many emotions and memories. My sobriety anniversary is now also my blind anniversary. The week before my anniversary, I was thinking about my last week sighted and reliving all that, instead of the usual remembering the last week drunk. It was incredible to be at a meeting this time, and a bunch of friends came who I never see. My boyfriend brought a dozen roses, and I was asked to share right off the bat. Usually we bring up a topic at the start of the meeting, but instead the leader asked me to share how I did it.

I cried and don't even remember what I said. I remember right after going blind, my uncle asked if I wanted to drink when I got out of the hospital. I laughed and said, "then I'd be blind and falling on my *****". Drinking never crossed my mind, not even when I lost my vision. There have been times that I'll hear a commercial for a beer and get a quick taste for it, but luckily, have not obsessed about it. I grabbed on to my friends and my sponsor and the steps and my higher power and somehow got through it all, sober.

I used to tital threads here when I got a chip. So at first, it was "Shiny red chip" then "shiny gold chip" etc. I was viligent about posting here all through sobriety. I tried to help when I could. After going blind, I didn't have a talking computer for 8 months, so I got out of the habit. Then when I got my talking computer, I was here a lot and then just slowly started fading away from here. Then, they renamed it to Addictions and I got a resentment hahahaha!

Anyway, I just wanted to share with friends and with people I have yet to meet, and to show that staying sober through anything is possible. After going blind, I had to put my cat to sleep, my aunt died after calling me to ask how to stop drinking, my boyfriend's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and a friend from my homegroup drank himself to death. Drinking would not have made any of this better. Today my life is amazing, and I'm able to see the blessings of going blind.

Thanks for letting me share, and for being a part of my sobriety.

Love,
Rayna

[madisgram]

hi rayna, good to see you again. what a wonderful bit of news....4 years sober!!!!! i am incredicly happy for you. even with life's challenges and surprises you have achieved a miracle. thank you for sharing your good news with us.

[Raynaadi]

Thank you ((((( Madisgram )))))))

I'm vowing to not fade away from here again. There are times when I get in such slumps and feel so bad and try and look at what I've changed that might lead to it, and I finally figured out that I'm not very involved in all things sober lately. Its a lot harder to get to meetings now, and I used to get a lot of sobriety and service here at PC. So wy did I quit coming? Laziness? Haha, can't do it anymore. Need to stay involved in anyway possible. And PC is such a good way to never be alone. So I'm going to make it my mission to check in daily again.

Hope I hold myself accountable.

Hugs,
Rayna

[Christina86]

Rayna!! HUGS! Congratulations on your four year birthday, you are truly an inspiration. Guess what, I'm going to be celebrating my year anniversary in one month and 16 days. Not that I'm counting or anything! LOL! (That should be amusing to be sounded out by your computer. I could just write hahahaha too)

I'm so glad that your support group and stuff has been there for you and that you've managed to come through so much and still sober!

WOW!

One day at a time, and thanks for sharing Rayna, I mean that. You're awesomeness personified.

[Soidhonia]

Congratulations (((rayna))) on 4 years sobriety.


Comparison
a poem by helen steiner rice)

we wouldn't enjoy the sunshine
if we never had the rain.
We wouldn't appreciate good health
if we never expected pain.
If we never shed a teardrop
and always wore a smile,
we'd all get tired of laughing
after we had grinned a while
everything is by comparison
both the bitter and the sweet
and it takes a bit of both of them
to make our lives complete.

[sweetpea_tx]

Congratulations Rayna! We used to talk quite a bit way back when I had a diiferent name on here (sillysgoofygirl).

[notz]

Way to go Rayna!

[Raynaadi]

Thank you Christina, Soid, SweetPea and Knots!!

Christina, you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Soid, thanks for the great poem!!!!!!

SweetPea, wow yes I remember you!! How are you???

Knots, thank you, and thanks for being a part of my sobriety!!!!!