OK, so Emmy fell down went BOOM tonight. Tomorrow will be a new Day One.

And it doesn't even matter why she fell down went boom. For an alcoholic, any excuse works just fine thanks. Sometimes, I think we delight in the poo in life so we have an excuse to drink.

Ok, Scarlett Emmy, tomorrow is anudder day.

Emsky

[h0kie]

I'm sorry you fell off the wagon. I'm glad you are picking yourself up and hoping back on and not letting it .

I was watching a tv show and they were explaining why this character couldn't drink and what made him an alcoholic...it made a lot of sense to me. Helped me understand what you must face everyday.

You must be a tough lady!

One day at a time.

[AllDone]

Oh, Ems. I'm so, so sorry you're having a rough time. I wish I could make it easy for you.

((((((((((((((((((((Emmy))))))))))))))))))))

You know where to come for more hugs whenever you need them. Don't forget how much you're loved, k?

Your pal,
Laurie

[heatherm]

(((((((((((Emmy))))))))))))))

One day at a time sweetie....you are an inspiration.

xoxo

Oh, I ain't so tough! Cool maybe....but not tough!

Thank you for your support. I do appreciate it!!

Alldone - you are a gem of a friend. I always feel hugs from you. Big sloppy kisses, em

You are very kind. Your post made me smile. Thank you!!! I've been sober for umm....a couple hours already! emmy

[gardenergirl]

I'm here for you, too. You've got a good attitude about one day at a time. Happy new day.

((((((((((emmy)))))))))))

gg

GG - The most amazing part is that I ratted on myself. I shared something! Wowsa! Imagine that...me? Sharing! Holy hot tamale Batgirl!!! Yeah me!

Looky there. I get drunk, and still manage to congratulate myself. I've practicing that postive self-talk a little TOO much!

emsky

hey, sweet ems.....i love you and i am here, sporadically, for you.......hang in there. you have our safety net,okay??? xoxoxoxo pat

[Sabrina_saw]

Hey Emily

You are strong.

Every single day, every single little day, I tell myself today is the day. No more. When I get home from work I shall sip sparkling mineral water in my wine glass. I will NOT buy wine on the way home. This conviction stays with me every single little day until 17h00 when I finish work and my resolve crumbles. Night after night I do not remember getting to bed. And every morning that I wake up I begin the "no more" routine all over again. Until 17h00 ...... and so it goes.

I don't even need an excuse anymore. Except that I am weak.

I admire your attitude. Anudder day? Hmmm, that's easy. Every single little day ................... every .........single .............little ..........day.

I so understand the after work compulsion. Ugh. It's like my car drove to the liquor store all my itself like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I had nothing to do with it! Ha! Yeah, right.....And yes, I'd wake up ever morning, and say, this is the day I'm gunna stop. This is Day One.

Then I can be driving down the road, and off in the distance I swear I can see the Star of David shining in the distance...as i approach, I realize that it's just my brain's excitment at approaching a liquor store!! The closer I get, I begin to hear Lou Rawl's singing sexy songs to me....calling for me to come inside. Jeepers. How's a girl supposed to stay out????

Sometimes it's like I get in this trance and just drive there. Not sure I can explain it. I don't think at all. It's like just the alcoholic part of my brain is in charge. No other parts of my brain are "on". Very wierd sensation. A quite dissociative, imo.

Anyhow, for me the key is just like dieting, or with any other addiction - when you slip up...that doesn't mean it's over and you're a failure. It's just a day. The next day is a new opportunity. So, you try again. It's a life long thing. Yes, it sucks. I get REALLY sick of it.

It helps to make sure my friends IRL know so they don't offer me drinks. I don't go to parties where there is booze. I don't go to bars. If I'm feeling tempted, I'll skip any event, including weddings receptions, if there will be booze there. I'm not a public drinker, but I'd go right from there to the liquor store, then home for a private drunk fest.

The biggest temptation is just driving by Lou Rawls and those dang liquor stores. Thank goodness they don't sell wine in grocery stores in my state. I'd be screwed if they did. I feel sorry for all alcoholics in those states. They should have those aisles behind doors, imo. I'll bet that in those states they have higher rates of alcoholism.

Ok, I'm really rambling now....see, sober people are real chatty in the morning (no headache, no hangover, fully hydrated..... )

Big hugs, thanks for sharing!!

emmy

[Sabrina_saw]

Ah Ha!! Wine is sold at my grocery store and on a Sunday to boot!

Two minutes to home time for me. Morning for you, early evening for me. I am 40 minutes away from a drink.

Very dehydrated!

Thanks for getting me to smile about this when I was feeling so low.

BTW - I don't remember you sharing about this over at the other place. Sheepish grin - have been reading your posts there forever!

[shadowalker164]

Sabrina,
I read your post and felt compelled to respond.
I think everybody here understands what your facing. We are very much alike in as far as this drinking even when we don’t want to goes.
I can’t count how many times I said to my self, “I’m not going to drink today, I was as serious as a heart attack when I said it, but 12 to 14 hours later I was blind drunk all over again. I repeated that pattern over and over for years. The appointed hour would arrive, and I would just change my mind. Every single time.
There is a school of thought that puts forward the notion that I’m not a weak person, I’m not a bad person, but that I am suffering from a diisease. This school of thought also puts forward the notion that will power alone many times is insufficient to stop me from drinking.
There are many paths to sobriety, but almost without exception, they all use a "we" approach as apposed to going it alone.
Sabrina, find another woman, who like you, is trying not to drink just for today. And possibly the two of you can do something together that neither of you could do alone.
Tomorrow is indeed another day.

Your friend on this long strange trip
Shadowalker164

Would you kindly treat your liver to one glass of water per glass of wine? I'm convinced that helps save our wee livers from keeling over and turning into marinated prunes.

Great news about those grocery stores tho! You can insist that in order to get sober, your hubby will have to do all the grocery shopping!!

You are correct - I never posted about this over there. I made my nest here and even brought my blankie. So, here is where I'm coziest to spill.

emmy

[SweetCrusader]

((((((((((Emmy))))))))))))))))

[gardenergirl]

((((emmy))))

Keep doing what you know works. You are awesome.

gg

[Sabrina_saw]

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. As well as understanding.

It means a lot. And it is good to know I am not alone.

[MacD]

I don't think you "delight" in any excuses...you're just a thoughtful person who isn't giving up...i admire you..keep on keepin on...grace

[shadowalker164]

It is indeed good to know that we are not alone.

And also remember that there are thousands of other women who. like you struggled against that first drink.

p. s. it was the first drink that got me drunk, not the second 12 pack.

Your friend on this long strange trip
Shadowalker164

[heatherm]

((((((((Emmy)))))))))))

Thinking of you today...you always bring a smile to my face when I read your posts. I think you are an amazing woman.

xoxo

Thank you and everyone for their support. It really does help. Also makes me feel sorta accountable for my actions. Rut Roh!! Like I gotta go to confession! Eeek!

As GG says, whatever works!

emmy

Know what? (she says posting pathetically to herself)

On my way home tonight I was DYING FOR BOOZE!! (My dopey friend had left me alone at her house with an open bottle of chardonnay all afternoon...long story) Ugh. I said, oh screw...it I'm doing it and aimed the car towards Land O' Booze.

Then I thought....aaawwww...sheeeeeet! I'd have to post that at PsychCentral! That actually stopped me from buying booze! See, you guys are very helpful friends! (although if I don't get some chocolate soon, I'm going to scream.....)

emmy

[h0kie]

YAY EMMY! Good for you!

Three cheers for Emmy!

[AllDone]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Emmy stayed sober
Woo hoo hoo!!!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Emmy gets chocolate
None for you!

Oh my, it's late. Think TheCat will like my poems ?

(((Emmy))), yet again I am in awe of your strength. Keep up the good work .

Your forever harassing friend,
Laurie

P.S. Got any plans before Wednesday?

P.P.S. Land O' Booze? Is that anywhere near Land O' Lincoln? I'd love to see ya .