[WendyAussie]

Gidday, I am new to the site so thought I would introduce myself specifically in the Addictions Group.

I am an Australian woman with Bipolar II, panic and anxiety disorders and I am also an 11 years sober alcoholic in AA. I post on other mental health sites, but have been looking for a new one - this site looks great.

Some dodgy genes and an horrific childhood left me with these illnesses. I pulled out all stops to get a life for myself, did three tertiary qualifications and had a wonderful career in PR and Communications, which of course was made much more difficult due to addiction and mental illness. I had begun blackout drinking at 14 and drank to 32 when I started in AA. I was undiagnosed with mental illness until I was 35 and I now know I had Early Onset Mental illness.

Unfortunatley once I started with psychiatrists at 35, I was to commence a period of horror, loss and devastation as a result of being mis-medicated with SSRI's for 6/7 years (I know that many Bipolars NEED those meds, but they are contraindicated for me). This period and it follow-up was so much worse than the worst of my drinking - and I had been a blackout drinker for 18 years, with all that goes with it. I lost my career, my house, my friends and family (who aren't prepared to learn about Bipolar - they just want to judge).

I moved from the city to a town in mid 2008, three months after I nearly lost my life and a psychiatrist here soon established that I should NEVER have been on SSRI's. I am still living with the consequences, but the slow, one step froward two steps back path to recovery has moved forward ever so slowly, but I am still fighting the good fight.

I would LOVE to chat.

Wendy

[paddym22]

Wendy

A very warm welcome to PC. I can associate with you on the ssri's I was given them for five years and I am BP II and borderline and it was an almighty nightmare. I also had an addiction to pills and I binged drank for a while as well to self medicate. I still find it hard to do without the pills, the high feeling, the numbness, the whole process of procuring them was exciting and the preparation to take them was adrenaline pumping. But I am better off now, I am more stable, I have less highs and lows although I still get them, I guess I will have them for the rest of my life, I wonder how much of my mental illness is as a result of my addiction. well. I hope you find lots of support here and friends, we are a good bunch of people and there is always something interesting going on. Hope to chat to you in chat

Paddy

[WendyAussie]

Thanks Paddy. Yes I think as Dual Diagnosis or Co-Morbid people (ie a substance abuse history as well as mental illness), the two streams of illness definitely run parallel but also intertwine along the way and also in recovery. I know that I was a genetic alcoholic as people drop like flies in my family from alcoholism including my Dad, his Dad, most of Dad's siblings in a large family and many on Mum's side too. I think that when the booze hit the blood brain barrier when I was 14 my brain just said "YES!!! MORE!!". And I think I was medicating my terrible mental state and those intense emotions and I also now know that I had Early Onset Mental Illness. So, I was a Goner. lol

I am very lucky that I didn't get into pills - street drugs or pharamceutical while I was drinking as I think I would have died. Especially at the end, I was just so fragile. I drank in extremely skuzzy pubs with people who were criminals, drug pushers, alcoholics and addicts and there was plenty of needle action around. I truly believe that if I hadn't got sober when i did I would have gone the needle route and wouldn't have made it.

And hey, with this skuzzy pub life I was a Communications Manager for a major charity, right up until the end of my drinking. Like a lot of people, I didn't get the sack but I resigned before I got sacked. My career was in a very responsible area, so it is bizzare that I had this parallel life happening. I started back into my career at 3 months sober but I no longer have my career due to my mental illnesses and the f'd prescribing practises of some psychiatrists. I don't know why I told you all that - must need to share. lol!!

Wendy

Hello, WendyAussie. Keep on keeping on. You will get there.

[DePressMe]

Wendy, it is encouraging to hear you share your story. You have had a lot of things go the wrong way for you but you're still fighting! Hang in there...

[lost13]

welcome to PCkeep fighting

How are you doing, WendyAussie?